Another week goes by, and little has changed. I'm happy overall, to be sure. But I just can't stop thinking about all of this shit. I wake up in the middle of the night - and I think about it. I sit at work - and I think about. I had about four or five days in a row at work where I did very little. I simply can't concentrate on my job because I have to think about all of this. Why???
Maybe I need some therapy or something. I just can't seem to let go. Have I done something cruel in life to deserve this pain? When this stuff is on my mind, I'm miserable, absolutely miserable.
On another note, I did send her an E-mail shortly after my last blog entry. And for the record, she promised she would never steer me down this road again. If she ever felt a need to move on from me, or had doubts about the viability of our marriage, she promised to tell me immediately. While that would be a horrible thing to happen, that's a promise that needs to be kept. I have to trust her on this.
Maybe I just need to talk all of this out with her again. I don't know. All I know is that this sucks. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I need her by my side not to be miserable. And that simply isn't feasible.
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