My wife asked me last night if I had any thoughts of cheating myself, out of revenge. I told her no - which is true to a certain degree. Of course the thought itself has entered my mind. But even if I wanted to, it's not like I can just snap my fingers and make it happen. It doesn't work that way for guys. A woman intent on cheating can find a willing guy in two hours if she tries.
In all honesty, and I know this may sound noble and corny, but I simply wouldn't do that to her. I am really hurting these days. Any hurt I've experienced over the past two months, pales in comparison to what I've felt this week. I now know what it feels like to get cheated on. And I simply love my wife far too much to put her through this sort of heartache. I know that may sound overly noble - as if "wow, what a great guy I am!" But it is nonetheless true. I know she's got her own issues to deal with right now. She may not be suffering to the same degree I am. But I know she's hurting as well. And I know she has guilt and sorrow for what she's put me through. And why would I want to add to that?
This has been a very tough week for me. My appetite has seemed to have vanished - which isn't exaclty a bad thing. I carry a pit in my stomach nearly everywhere I go. But I'm actually dealing with it better than I thought I would. This too will pass.
Do I sound like a pathetic broken record? Woah is me. Woah is me...
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